There is a seemingly equal amount of back-patting and tongue lashing when it comes to state senator Richard Martinez’, D-Española, no vote on the domestic partnership bill. From all reports, the religious population in the Valley bombarded Martinez with phone calls, messages and e-mails asking him to vote no. There was also an outcry from those wishing to gain those rights for a yes vote. Those open-minded enough to support the bill, even though they may be married, were also contacting Martinez.
He had a tough call and not one I envy. He’s stated that personally he supports the bill and wants gay lifestyles protected. But he has to vote the way his constituents want him to vote and according to his and his office’s count that came up “no.”
My domestic partner and I have occasional conversations about what rights we do and don’t have because we’re not married. We each have to have our own health insurance. We can’t name the other on our individual policies. All of our property must be listed at joint owners or right of survivorship.
If one of us ended up in the hospital in a coma, the other would have no rights and if hospitals followed protocol, we wouldn’t even be able to visit the other because we’re not married. Our blood families would have the right to make the decisions but I’m not sure they know what our specific desires are.
No rights despite almost two decades of living in sin, supporting each other through tough times and celebrating our successes. We ran a newspaper together in Texas for two years. Talk about tough times.
We’ve traveled all over the world, seen much of our own country together, worked for many volunteer organizations, some together, most separately. We own property together, have debt together and put up with each other’s idiosyncrasies and insane habits. That’s what couples do, regardless of whether they’re gay, straight, married or shacking up.
Of course the difference is we can get married and end all the little paper problems. Gay people can’t.
It can be argued Martinez voted correctly, did his job as a representative of the people and the system worked. It can be just as easily argued he failed miserably. He should have been a leader and voted his conscience for what he knew was right, just.
The religious fanatics want to make this about religion and sin. In their eyes, I’m just as big a sinner as a gay couple living together. I can’t care less what they think. I have friends in the religious right and I know what they think of my life style. None of their business.
The bigger picture remains to be pounded out between religious groups, politicians and hopefully the public. Martinez took the easy way out and suggested the issue be put before voters. It won’t end there.
Californians just went through the situation where the supreme court ruled gay couples could wed, then it was put before voters and they voted against gay couples marrying and now the gay advocate groups are getting ready to sue. Why? They didn’t get the answer they wanted.
A bill in the New Mexico senate is a long way from allowing gays to marry or even have rights as a couple. The fight will be long and hard and there’s going to be a lot of intolerance, bigotry and narrow-mindedness along the way. That’s something we have to tolerate in this country, the other guy’s opinion. We don’t have to agree with it, we just have to tolerate it.