Have you ever whispered “I love you” to someone so softly, so quietly that you almost didn’t want them to hear? Have you cried or screamed into an ocean that was so thunderous it drowned out your small whimpers? Or started a sentence and backed away because someone else began to speak?
Like a note in a bottle tossed into the ocean in search of its intended recipient, our thoughts, desires and love sometimes don’t want to be fulfilled. We almost make an art of longing. We become tortured poets of our own making. We think this is what life has dealt us and we have to accept our place. We resign ourselves to a life of what ifs. But that’s not what life ought to be. Life is about grasping what is before us. Star gazing? Sure, use it for the inspiration. But stars ungrasped remain the stuff of regret. Seizing the day is the meat and potatoes of our existence.
I’m a romantic at heart. I live by the concept of individualism, the sublime and the idea that we can attain beauty. Reason and enlightenment do not solely define our existence. Beauty and meaning manifest themselves to us in ways science cannot.
My college English professor who taught romantic poetry said the essence of romanticism is the longing for a time when things were better; real or imagined. Being a romantic means recognizing we are separated from our fates, our fortunes and our loved ones, waiting for the time we will once again be united. We light a candle, say a prayer and wait.
Or, we can do something about it. I am drawn to Melody Gardot, who sings in a sultry French voice, “Les étoiles, les étoiles, the stars, the stars shining up above … tell me stars who will give you love. The stars, the stars lights of white and blue. Tell me stars why I look to you.”
The imagery of solitude, beauty and longing all collude to make this song truly brilliant. It would be a shame if the story ended there.
So what will it take to get us from dreamer to people of action? Closing the gap between thought and action is easier said than done. Philosophers have tried to solve this process for centuries. Schopenhauer called it the world as will and representation. Heidegger delves into things in and of themselves (whatever that means). But none has left a more indelible mark than Nietzsche with his Will to Power. He says it is man’s nature to increase his power at all costs.
I prefer the ancient philosopher Aristotle’s take. He said that everything, including man, is defined by its telos, which is Greek for end or goal. Further, how well it attains this goal determines how good it is. The telos of a house, for example, is to provide shelter. How well it keeps the elements out determines whether it is a good house.
The question remaining for you is, what is your telos? Will you be defined by the dreams you have that go unfulfilled? Remember that practice makes better. The more you try to give meaning to your life, the better you become and the more you can be said to be good, according to Aristotle. More importantly, you can be known as good to the people around you, your family and your community.
Fate doesn’t reward dreamers. Fate rewards the doers who improve themselves and their communities by closing the gap between dream and reality. Don’t just whisper I love you or think about doing that next project. Shout it and do it like you mean it. Like your very telos depends on it.