Moms have a knack for asking questions. Where are you going? Who are you going with? How was school today?
They are the professionals. You can’t escape their clutches without telling them what’s going on in your life. Down to the very last detail. I used to hate the endless barrage of whos, whats and whys. Mo-oom! Leave me alone!
Thank god she never did, because the questions I hated and thought utterly useless actually helped to shape who I am today. Especially the why. Back then, I remember answering with the same response to every why: “Because!” “Why do you want to go to Germany?” “I don’t know. Because.” “Why do you want to go so far away to college?” “Because!”
Rebellion is a natural and a necessary facet of our evolution. It sits right up there with bull elk leaving the herd after a couple years to strike out on their own. To heck with all the questions. I’m outta here.
Although rebellion can lead to independence and growth, it also hampers the brain’s cognitive ability to stop and think. It makes it easy to shut down and stop questioning why we do the things we do. We become so reactive and stubborn that we forget to sit and think. We become so engulfed by the desire to act and achieve and move about in the world that we lose grace and tact — and instead become a bull in a china shop.
I can hear my mom ask me, “por que quieres hacer eso,” or “why do you want to do that?” And I find now that my why is inextricably tied to hers. If I had the chance, I’d ask her the same question. “Mom, why do you stay up so late working on your paperwork? You know they don’t care about it.” Or, “Mom, why did you rent out an office space for your business when you can do the paperwork at home?”
My mom started a business finding jobs for people with physical and mental challenges. Being independent, generating her own income and doing whatever the heck she wanted gave her tremendous satisfaction. It was the ultimate goal she laid out for herself.
Having worked as a seamstress in a clothing factory for more than 20 years, she had something to prove. If she were alive, I’d ask her: “Why?” But I already know why. It’s the same answer that I have when faced with a challenge. Because. Because I need to show the world that I can do it. I need to be part of a movement that says anything is possible and that there has to be something better — something more to the people who think it isn’t worth it. There is strength in the simple desire to prove a point. The point is that life is about sitting in a dark room at a desk with only a table lamp to light the mounds of paperwork that you’re doing. It’s caring about the things no one else cares about. It’s about lifting your team and the spirit of those around you.
Everyday has to be better than the last. Persevere, fight and struggle. But make it worth it. And show everyone that you can do it. Proving that something is possible is the only answer to “why?” that I need. Thanks, Mom. Happy Mother’s Day.